Sorrento Retreat Day 5: While to my complete awe I am greeted again, a seventh time in three days, with light and joy, there is a new night-time dawning. The clarity with which separation is determined, is not clear at all. I turn and face the strange; as Bowie serenaded in the dreaming. Strange fascination, fascinating me , changes are taking the pace I’m going through. Time will change me, but I can’t change time – yes grace is at work but not within my sphere to effect.
This is out of my hands. Perhaps more honestly out of my clarity. The vision before me can’t be held, can’t be seen. It beckons not a new understanding but a willingness to forego understanding. Knowledge is of no use at all, non-understanding brings barely any consolation.
The one from whom I determined to separate, is the alienated. How does one see the face of Christ in the self one is wanting to alienate. Is being human, fully human, to embrace the self which is not embraceable? This is the most unexpected and perplexing shift.
Psalm 118(119): 137-144
Since you know the will of God, act according to it and you will be blessed. [temperance, courtesy, timely right action and correct conduct]
Lord, you are just indeed; your decrees are right.
You have imposed your will with justice and with absolute truth.
[your only true protection]
I am carried away by anger”.
Lord, why do you hide your face?